Everything You Need to Know For Better Oral Sex

Oral sex is a sexual act that involves stimulating a partner’s erogenous zones with your mouth. It can be performed on any part of the genitals or anus. Anytime you use your tongue, lips, throat, or teeth to consensually pleasure another person’s vulva, vagina, pubic mound, perineum, penis, anal canal, or anal opening, you're having oral sex.

Before we go to business for you to become a master in cunnilingus, fellatio (blow job) or analingus (anilingus or rim job), let's check some important points :

Yes, oral sex is “real” sex

Yes. Oral sex qualifies as sex, regardless of whether or not vaginal or anal intercourse precedes or follows it. The myth that oral sex isn't sex is a heteronormative understanding of sex. Oral sex can be just as pleasurable — if not more so — than penetrative sex.

Your anatomy is perfect the way it is

There's no such thing as a normal type of vulva and penis because there are so many different sizes and shapes. Unless it's causing you discomfort, there's no reason to be ashamed of what it looks like and please don’t compare yours to what you see in porn. 

Everyone smell and taste something

Vaginal and penis scents are very normal, and odor alone is not a symptom of a problem. The vagina and the penis contain healthy bacteria that are a part of our microbiome and include sweat glands. These can produce an odor that varies for each person. That said, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to freshen up before oral sex. To keep things fresh, take a shower or a bath or just wash it quickly in the sink if you are in lack of time. Please, avoid perfumes or scented spray, for the sake of your genital health. 

What about the taste of it? Same thing, no one tastes naturally like cotton candy. As long as you’re healthy and taking care of your hygiene, you should taste just fine. 

However, your diet can help change the taste of your sauce. First, you will want to avoid garlic, onions, asparagus, and cabbage. To make things taste a little better try eating papaya, pineapple, oranges, celery, cinnamon, wheatgrass and lemon

Pregnancy isn’t possible, but STIs are

There’s no risk of pregnancy from oral sex, but there is a very real risk of oral STIs. Penetrative intercourse isn’t the only kind of sex that comes with a risk of STIs. Without proper protection, oral sex can also lead to an STI. 

Someone with a genital STI can transmit that STI to the giver’s mouth, and someone with an oral STI can transmit it to the receiver's genitals.

The STIs most commonly transmitted through oral sex include:

• HSV (herpes)
• Gonorrhea
• Syphilis
• HPV
• Chlamydia

HIV, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, and hepatitis C can also be transmitted via oral sex, but are less likely.

Some oral STIs don’t cause any symptoms, but if they do they may include:

• sore throat
• open sores or warts in or around the mouth and throat
• swollen lymph nodes

The key to reducing STI transmission risk during sex is getting your STI screening regularly, knowing the status of your current and potential partners, and then using that information to make informed decisions about barrier usage. However, it’s always safer to use a barrier while engaging in oral sex, like a condom on a penis (flavored condoms are a great way to make safer sex more fun), or a dental dam over a vulva or anus to create a physical barrier between the mouth and body part. If you don't have a dental dam handy, you can take a condom and carefully cut it up the side to create a square shape. 

Now we are ready to go in the crunchy part of the subject!

If your partner has a vulva

The vulva contains a lot of different erogenous zones and it might be good for you to know the anatomy of it to learn what can feel good for a vagina-owner. Everyone is different, and what may feel great to one might not feel the same to another, but generally, I’ll say that the external clitoris is queen—so if you don’t know where to go, put your attention there. However, it’s good to have some techniques and different positions to give the best cunnilingus, so here you go!

Tricks to try

1. Try breast/nipple play and begin by lightly stroking, circling, or licking the nipples, or gently cupping the breasts. This can build a lot of anticipation and really turn your partner(s) on.

2. Lick or nibble their inner thigh as you begin heading down. Feel free to explore other areas with your mouth or hands as well, like the neck, stomach, and butt. 

3. Keep the underwear on and stroke the vulva or the clit with your tongue flat until you get the fabric — and them — wet.

4. Spend a little time licking the fleshy mound above the clit, when they’re ready for tongue-to-skin action.

5. Kiss or lick the labia (both the inner and outer sets), because yes, they are sensitive too, and stimulating that area can really make the vagina go crazy.

6.  Dance around the clit with the tip of your tongue, or lightly graze it to start building sensation.

7. Use your fingers to gently pull the clit hood upward so you can focus the tip of your flexed tongue on the clit.

8. Lick it up and down or side to side. Listen to and feel your partner respond as you lick their clit either up and down or side to side. 

9. Start with light pressure and speed and gradually ramp things up. When you get into a groove that they love, keep at it to take them over the edge.

10. Try sucking the clit. Some like this and some don't, but you can try lightly sucking on the clit between strokes if they're into it.

11. See if they like tongue penetration, by starting to lick the opening of the vagina and slowly making your way inside it.

12. Double sensations with finger(s) or dildo penetration if it’s something they want and if you are able to do 2 things at the same time.

Positions

You can turn pretty much any penetrative sex position into an oral sex position. Switching up positions during oral sex can also be a good way to stimulate different areas and create different sensations.

But to save your neck, we recommend these positions:

• Sitting on your face: Lie on your back and have them straddle your face while facing you so they control the moves and pressure. It offers lots of access to the rest of the receiver's body—like grabbing breasts or their butt.
• From behind: From a doggy-style-like position, give them head from behind. This position is also great if your partner is into rimming.
• Laying back: Have them lie on their back with a pillow under their butt or hips and legs apart while you lie or kneel in between.
• Almost 69: They get to straddle your face again, only this time they’re facing on the other side and can return the favor if they want.

Sex Toys to make it better

If you want to add a little something to the experience and if they consent to it, you could use a vibrator or a dildo to stimulate the vaginal opening while licking their clitoris, or even for penetration. You could also use the vibrator to tease them on their inner thighs and other sensitive parts of their body. 

If your partner has a penis

Again, it's important to note that everyone is different, and what may feel good to one penis-owner might not feel great to another. It’s good to know about the penis anatomy before going there so you can learn more about their sweet spots—like the frenulum—to get their eyes to roll back even more. Since there are certain variables you can't control, like ‘’What if they want me to deepthroat and I can’t?’’, you should focus on the things you can do to ensure that it's a good experience for all parties, like learning about various positions, techniques, and sex toys for giving a good fellatio (blow job). 

Tricks to try

1. Tease the glans with your tongue, circle it and tickle the shaft with your fingers/fingernails at the same time.

2. Go up and down the base of their shaft, using the tip of your tongue

3. Lightly flick the frenulum — the little ‘’V’’ shaped skin where the shaft joins the head — with the tip of your tongue.

4. Start sucking lightly and wrap your hand around the penis moving it up and down in rhythm with your head

5. Pick up the pace as their pleasure builds and lightly play with their balls if it’s something they like.

6. Give some love to the perineum, the patch of skin between the penis and the anus, either with your hands or with your tongue. 

7. Make your hands wander around , like on the inner thighs, as it’s normally a good sensitive spot for penis owners.

Positions

Again, you can do a blow job in just about any position, but we recommend these:

• The Compliment: You are now both on your knees in this position. You will be leaning forward a bit, so you can stand on your elbows or forearms. They have a nice view from your curvy back and your butt from this position, which can be a big plus.
• The Plumber BJ’: While you’re on your back, their knees will be on either side of your head and they will lean on their forearm .Your arms will be resting on their lower legs or the bed. 
• The Boss’ Chair: Have them sit on the chair while you kneel before them and take matters into your mouth, or you do the sitting while they stand with their legs on either side of the chair while you lean in. This can also be done on the edge of the bed if you want. 
• The Kneeling BJ’: Face them and then get down on your knees while they remain standing upright. This is one of the most ‘standard’ positions. Consider using a pillow under your knees. 

Sex Toys to make it better

Again, if you want to add a little something to the experience and if they consent to it, I know a special toy that will do wonders while you're giving a BJ’ :

Hold the Jewels Manta at the bottom of the penis shaft or move it up and down the shaft, while the stroke and the vibration stimulate all the penis and make oral feel like deep throat. 

You could also use a cockring to increase the pleasure!

If they want a rim job

Butt play isn’t anything new, but in good news for pleasure-seekers, people are now more open to talking about it. As a stand-alone act, receiving rimming (anulingus) can be just as or more pleasurable than any other kind of anal sex. There are a lot of erotic nerve endings in the anus so it’s definitely a legitimate source of sexual pleasure for many people.

Tricks to try:

1. Kiss, caress and lick their ass to start things up for a moment. 

2. Start licking up and down the anus with your flat, relaxed tongue.

3. Use the tip of your tongue to run circles around the anus, starting with little pressing and getting firmer and faster as their pleasure builds.

4. You can gently insert your tongue, going in and out, if you both want this.  

5. Continue playing on and around the anus or the perineum until you are both satisfied.

Positions

Now you don't have a ton of options, since you want access to the anus.

Doggy style is a rimming friendly position. It gives you equal control over the pressure and movement to find what works best for both of you. To do this, ask them to get down on all fours while you kneel behind. They can lay their head on a pillow and move their bottom up or down to meet your mouth.

Sex Toys to make it better

Here, you might want a sex toy that will stimulate other areas, like the clitoris for a vagina-owner or the penis and testicles for a penis-owners. This can help to release the inhibitions and make your partner feel more relaxed to enjoy everything. So you could use an external vibrators (for both penis or vagina owners), or a g-spot vibrators if they want to have penetration at the same time. 

General tips

Now that you’ve got the techniques and positions, here’s some final advice to make oral sex even better. 

The wetter the better

We don't always have plenty of saliva, so don't be shy about adding some lubricant. Flavored lubes can make oral sex even more fun and tasty. You can add mint to your water to help you have more saliva. 

Communicate

Communication is always the key for making any kind of sex the best it can be. No one can read the minds of others, so that’s the only way to know exactly what they want, what they like and what they don’t. Be sure to ask for their clear consent before getting started. 

Explore other areas

Use your hands, mouth or sex toys to explore their other erogenous zones during oral play to stimulate them even more and take it to another level.

Make some noise

Let them hear how much you’re enjoying what you’re doing. Moan, tell them how much you like this while you’re doing the job.

Lock eyes

Eye contact while you’re going down is sexy AF. It’s also a great way to gauge your partner’s reactions to your moves so you know what’s working and what isn’t.

Add some special effects

For more sensation, you can also use some stimulating gel or balm that are generally made to create gentle pulsating sensation on the skin. This will make their genitals more sensitive and have them feel everything more intensely. There is also the opposite, desensitizers, to make the fun last longer!

The bottom line

Oral sex can be a pleasurable and intimate experience as much for the giver as it is for the receiver. Don’t forget to practice it safely and with open communication to make it better! Enjoy!

Sources: 

https://www.health.com/condition/sexual-health/oral-sex

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/oral-sex#takeaway